Now that Varun’s ceremony, and all the attendant activity, was over, life returned to a more measured pace.
My mother liked visiting new places. For years, my parents had been visiting us in Atlanta, and I had never really made an effort to arrange to take them on a holiday. Certainly, we had gone to a few places, but I don’t like being a tourist, and I usually elected not to go. The couple of times we had gone away together – to Cancun, Mexico for example – we had ended up having a good time.
This time, I had arranged what I called a ‘first-class vacation’ for my parents. We were going to leave for Orlando, Florida, where my daughter Malvika had a school event for a couple of days. Bhavya would join us there. We’d then drive to Miami and stay there for a couple of days, followed by another drive to the Keys over spectacular bridges and roads that went through islands and the ocean. We were going to fly first-class, stay in fine hotels, and no expense was going to be spared to make this a memorable trip.
But before that, there was a slight complication. Ma had been complaining of the back of her right shoulder hurting for days, and now it had come to a point where she was very uncomfortable. It was also difficult for her to raise her right arm, and her right eye had become noticeably smaller than the left one. Back in India, she had also noticed a hard lump between her neck and right shoulder, but her doctor there had told her it was nothing to worry about. Obviously, something was wrong. We didn’t know what was causing all these symptoms, but we had her checked out by a physician Bhavya was friends with.
The physician came back with a recommendation to have a specialist look for signs of serious disease. Bell’s Palsy and Cancer were to be tested and eliminated as possible causes of her problems.
I recall this phase quite clearly. Every day, we heard something that made the situation more complicated. Bell’s Palsy was eliminated as a possibility very quickly by the specialist. A biopsy of the lump on the neck was arranged, and the sample was sent out to Quest Diagnostics.
The specialist called me as I was driving back from a lunch meeting. It was June 20, 2014. He sounded worried, apologetic. The biopsy had come back with basal cell carcinoma, a type of cancer that affects the outer layer of skin. He said he didn’t really understand how she could have a diagnosis of skin cancer with no obvious symptoms of skin cancer, but he wanted to have her come back into his office so that he could do a full check again to see if there were signs he had missed on the first visit.
Shaken, I called my brother, Dabloo, and gave him the bad news. He and I agreed to meet at my house, where my parents were.
Once I got there, I told my parents what the specialist had told me. My mother was sitting on her bed, and, holding her, I began to cry. “I won’t let you go back to India until we fix this,” I repeated, over and over. And she, this woman who had just been told she had cancer, began to comfort me! She promised she wouldn’t try to go back before her treatment ended. Maybe she was less than confident on the inside, but her composure never wavered once.
We began making calls to all the doctors in the family. One of them, my radiologist cousin, Julie, who lives in Phoenix, gave us reassuring news. She said that although no cancer was good, the type of cancer my mother had just been diagnosed with was the least dangerous cancer to have. According to her, this type of cancer was a like a rat that burrowed into its hole, but that also meant it could be cut out and treated. Suddenly, things seemed a little less gloomy.
My mother went in again for more tests, and the specialist checked her skin more minutely this time. She had no signs of skin cancer.
We knew she needed to see a cancer specialist. She would need health insurance in the coming months. As a legal visitor, she was able to buy a very comprehensive plan. This would stand her in good stead as her treatment unfolded.
We arranged to have Ma go in to see a Dr. Hagenstad at Gwinnett Medical Center on 2 July 2014. Dr Hagenstad set up a PET scan and an MRI, which would be used to see if Ma had localized cancer.
In the meantime, it was time to take the vacation we had planned to take. We left for Orlando on 25 June.
Malvika had a school event that she needed to attend in Orlando, so she wasn’t going to be staying with us until we left for Miami a couple of days later. Bhavya was going to join us on the 26th. Ma, Papa, and I checked into an apartment at a resort in Orlando. It was a well-furnished, roomy place. We had dinner at a Mexican restaurant. Later that night, I went out and got groceries so that we could have breakfast in the apartment in the morning.
The next morning, after everyone was awake, I made tea and breakfast for my parents. I had almost never done this before, but I wanted my mother to have a good time on this trip, and that meant not having to think about cooking. Eventually, she took over from me, but I think she liked the gesture.
Her voice had started to go. She would speak in a normal voice, every word audible, and then suddenly, the odd word or two would go silent.
We spent the day visiting Malvika at the Disney resort her event was taking place in, and then going to a Titanic exhibition. The high point of the latter, over and above all the exhibits, was a reenactment of the events on the doomed ship by one actor in front of several sets. It was entertaining.
Bhavya arrived later that evening. By the time we went to Bahama Breeze to eat, Ma had lost her appetite. Her ability to speak had also diminished.
Over the next three days, we traveled to Miami and Key West.
Although it was a comfortable holiday in luxurious surroundings, and Ma was enjoying her time, there were clear signs that she was in pain at times. Her voice had settled into a pattern in which she was not very audible at all.
By the time it was time to return, on 30 June, she was very tired. I still remember how she had to walk a lot more than we had bargained for after we returned our rental car and started toward our airport terminal in Miami. Then our flight was delayed because of bad weather, and the airport was very cold. She had taken to supporting her right arm in a makeshift cast, which caused her pain to be less pronounced.
Instead of leaving at 7 pm, our flight finally left at about 9:30 pm, and we got home at about 11 pm. It had been a long trip. We were tired.
Tomorrow, June 1, we would need to head over to the hospital to have Ma go through PET and MRI scans.
4 responses to “Chapter 2: Gathering Clouds”
Very moved by the details and your affection for Ma…may her soul be rest in peace…trust me we have been witness to the care and efforts you had put in, possibly there was not much left humanly possible to do. Life is very unpredictable and the good memories of time spent together are the only treasures we are left with! While reading through your blog, it felt like deja vu my experience 20 years back when my Ma also had similar fate…ironically she also had her initial doubts about cancer around same time June 20, 1995!!
Thank you, Sanjay, for your words and your help during my dark days.
Jayant, I can feel your pain. With your control over the language you could’ve been a writer and much more. A telling commentary; I liked the way you expressed how, despite being in pain and suffering, aunty was comforting you.
Thank you, Naveen. She was a protective mother to the end.